Fuck blast from the past too..

He's full of shit-never called me back, so much for the taTtoo
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FUCK PREACHER!

He is physcho forreal! I hate him..
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Well, the day is moving by so fast and I can't get my ass moving to keep up!!

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Well, well, well....

Preachers back for more! He says he doesn't want to loose me! He always comes around when I'm ready to move on...too late buddy!

Going to spend the weekend with Blast from the past,

Then childless weekend after that.
Country has blocked me from everything! Even the damn phone!

Oh well, goodnight!
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How sweet!

Preacher just sent me flowers at work!
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Childless blocked me on FB from seeing his status!

I managed to get in there anyway and I'm starting to think childless might not be a virgin after all
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Back home!

Well, nothing new to really report. Nothing exciting anyway.

Country has officially blocked me.

Subway was in a car accident.

Christmas wants to stop by-no!

Preacher called my a bitch today, didn't sound too Godly to me?

Childless is back to normal and calling all the time as usual. (He will be here in 12 days!)

Playa is headed to Oregan.

Daughter is on my last damn nerve!

And the new character "Blast from the Past" is making arrangements for us for next week for my tattoos!

Talk to u guys soon!

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Update-

I told childless after being ignored all day that I was on to him.

His response-

"We need to talk later, I live a stress free life and u like drama!"

How dare he! Fucker!
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Spoken by a true friend...

"All aboard for the express train to hell. We will be making several stops even though it's the EXPRESS. Thanks for
Your patience"

Good Job Mrs. Jello shots.....
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Bout to head home...

Sad! Childless is ignoring me!
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I started drinking coffee today for the first time.

Blogg is kinda boring right now cause my lifes boring right now sorry!

I will be back after happy hour, that's usually when shit goes down anyway.

Oh yeah, the new guy from last night (Railroad Boy) wants to meet me tonight for drinks!

We'll see...
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Me and jello are back together....

Bitch finally gave up some ass and the tweezeers!
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Unbelievable

All this time I was looking for tweezers my lover "mrs jello shots" had some in her fuccin bag! I want to break up with her and never again will I date her EVER!
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Oh shit

We r stopping at every fuccin rest stop, we have just about rammed every car in the ass. And to make it so bad I laughed while eating beef jerky and the combination of choking and laughing I sharted on my self!
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So really?

Preacher wants notes from a chiro seminar! (Because he don't believe I'm here)

U stupid bitch, what the hell do u need chiro notes for and u work with hazerdous material?? I hate u.
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Why the fuck aren't there any tweezers in this bitch?

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What the hell??

I haven't had a call, text, email or facebook in over 4 hours!!! WTF
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Okay...

So we played 2 truths and a lie..

Mine were st.teresas was my first school, I can shoot a 9mm. And I slept with snoop dog.

So what's the lie folks???

St . Teresas was not my first school!! Lol
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Preachers response....

I said-what the fuck do u need noted for?"

He said-

"The speaker I think it is nice u get 2 go. I also think that I could benefit from the speaker. They are running the office way everyone should run their office."

WTF??
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Here we fuccin go again! Preacher's about to loose it again!

He just said that he would like notes from the seminar..in other words he doesn't believe I'm really going to a work conference! Maybe he will catch a flight here next! What a asshole!
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Heading out of town...

I miss childless!!
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Preacher asked me for advice because now he's ready to date...just not date me!

This was my advice-

"Well I know u got the being faithful part down and u definitely put God firSt. Ur anger is under complete control and you are business savy. Attractive, sexy, and a people person. U don't NEEd a woman and that's really attractive!!

I would say u just need to work on your in securities with ur girlfriend. Only an insecure person would make up a lie about hawaii and twins and Tallahassee just to spark a debate or to try to catch someone in a lie. I know there was a time there was trips to Hawaii and I know at some point in time there were twins around BUT that was then THIS is now. Which brings me to my other point. STOP living in the past, talking about it all the time. When u do that it makes it seem as nothing better has come along since and its been YEARS since u owned gyms right?

-make sure u listen to her point of views and actually LISTEN, don't have a answer for everything, every second.

-RELAX, RELAX, RELAX,RELAX!!! Its like ur a awesome spirtual dr. For the sick! But once we are healed we want to enjoy life! In order to do that...relax, enjoy, laugh, be spontaneous, LIVE!

-most importantely-show what a man of God really can look like. It doesn't have to be so serious, and battlefield like all the time. Have fun too.

I'm mainely mad at you because I let all my walls come down for you. And for what? Nothing. You worried more about nothing than something. And in the end u ruined what I used to feel for you.

So I wish u the best with dating, engagements, marriages...whatever the case may be. I pray that u got all the bad things out the way with me and all she has to do is fall inlove and that will be enough for you. Or that when she surprises u one night by blind folding you and walking u outside for a picnic in the front yard, you just laugh and fall back and enjoy. And not mess it up by analizing and asking her 100 questions about the bible.

I pray that u become human again, and whatevers made u feel that u can't be leaves u.

U ARE A GOOD MAN!!!!! And I would of been blessed and honored to have been your wife...and it will take God himself to explain how u didn't end up my husband because my feelings were genuwine.

Anyway,
HopE this helps.

If u took any of this wrong, sorry. And PLEASE don't try to justify nothing I said. These are just my feelings, not a debate!"

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Apologies...

I want to apologize for my lack of attention to all of my followers and fellow bloggers!

How dare I!

Anyway, I have decided to wait til I've known childless a little longer before de-virginizing him or offering my dusty eggs for hatching.

Haven't heard from playa but rest assure he's always ready for a booty call, trip out of town.

And Country-well, Lord knows that dumb ass is still around, munching on forks.

Talk soon,

Love,

MZ THANG

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Major accident !!! I sent that to childless NOT COUNTRY!! Oh God!!

So everything is clear- its fuck Country and yes to childless!!
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Okay here is the exact text I sent to country...

"I'm going to get it together, make u proud, and then do anything I have to do to become your wife...and baby mama!"

He is speechless....I think I'm inlove!
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Childless...

I have decided I'm going to marry childless and give him a child!

Meantime I'm calling the police on Preacher! He is crazy as shit and loosing his mind by the second!!

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Childless...

Can't wait for him to get here! 3more weeks!!
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Funniest shit ever...

I just got a text from country about the keys that were "supposedly" locked in the car were really in the trash.

"Went to club la vela this wknd it was ok. And I lied about my keys bein in the car they were in the trash. Didn't want you to be right. "

What a stupid dumb fuck!
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Relaxing Sunday...

Sorry for not updating yesterday but I haven't been that hung over in awhile!

Anyway, very relaxing today...

Went to church, made a sex video for childless, and now I'm eating fried chicken and broccoli with friends.

Talk soon!

V
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Need I say more?? I apparently said too much!!

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Is it true...

As I sit here on the toilet, giving birth to my 6 pound jello shot "son", I'm asking myself...did last night really happen?

Did I really go down on a pinata? Did I really exchange numbers with a red head white guy that wants to motor boat my boobs? Did I really give directions on how to pee on someone...share secrets about my sexuality that I've managed to block out for years??

There's only person to blame for all this pain! And we will call her "Mrs. JELLO SHOTS" !!!!

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Goodnight all

Love u all!
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Help

I'm fucked up and I licked a pinatas pussy, and I admitted I had a girlfriend for 3 years and I liked being peed on...am I going to hell?? Oh well...
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Are white dick really pink?

I wanna see
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Country's Face book message to me...

"Im ok just a lil frustrated about us not workn out. I think you are very unique and cool to. Just go get me a white girl I geuss for now. Don't have your number anymore so text me if you want me to have it. "
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Preacher

I realized its been a day or 2 since I talked to preacher so I called last night, I actually missed him. After all this is the man I have been talking to everyday for over a year now. So anyway, I called and said "hey babe, what's up, how are u?" He said " I'm in deep prayer, listening for Gods voice , seeing what knowledge I need to share with u"......

I simply hung up.

Oh well , I tried.
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Me and childless are back together...

He's so romantical!
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Update!

Iraqi friend-on hold for now.

Christmas-still waiting for me.

Preacher-not speaking to me

Country-not speaking to me

Playa-wants some ass , after dark

Childless-too busy for me

Subway-says I have a couple days to decide if I wanna be with him or he's marrying someone else.

Sdoggs-gone back home
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Time to cut everyone off and find a new group of guys.

Me and childless are thru!!!
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I'm gonna marry Childless-

He said the only thing he's worried about is that he eventually wants a child.

I told him I eventually want to be able to have jello shots without shitting out a 6inch brick the next day so what's ur point?

Mamas not having no more bastards buddie.
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Country's response to blocking me via text:

"I erased everythng I'm not gona keep lukn at sumthn I can't have. Just gona keep it movn obviously I'm not enuf for you. Just a simple man nuthn great."
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Who do these people think they are??

Country blocked me on black berry messenger! Who the fuck does he think he is? He can't move on that easily! Only death should separate his love for me, asshole!

And Preacher did too! He blocked me on messenger, I hope he takes his own life, fucker!

Sdoggs is gone -

Playa isn't really texting anymore...

I'm feelling lonely....

What happened ???
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Childless

He forgot our 1 week anniversary , not a good sign!
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Ready to get back to business

Whatever that is? Sounded good!
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Almost home, in ATL.

I survived with country! Thank God its over! - now I can focus on childless who will be here in 2 weeks. I'm thinking of taking his virginity, then taking my own life.
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Boarding the plane now for ATL...

Wonder if Sdoggs is there yet?
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Thank God this nightmares almost over!

Haven't heard from anyone but childless the whole time. Everyone else forgot me! :(
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Dumb ass locked the keys in the car!

And of course my phone was in there too. Doors unlocked for the price of $155.00!!!
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Watching Country Eat,,,,

There has to be a method to the madness watching this negro eat!! LMAO!! Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse watching him SHOVEL food in his mouth ..this dumb mother fucker just bit the damn fork!!!!! LMAO to the 10th power! I have did more than pee myself I have pooped a little too!
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IMG00581-20100905-1507.jpg

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I watched "our families wedding" last night...

It was about a black and mexican family battling each other...reminded me of myself and a certain co-worker!
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LMAO

This is the ugliest weirdest dude I've ever met in my life, I almost hate FLORIDA because of him. All he does is dig in his ears...
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Just pulled up at the beach...

I open the glove box to hide my I'd and wallet and there is a box of trojens 24 count! I asked country what the fuck is that for?? And he says "well, I didn't know what u came to do!" Damn, even if I did come to do all that it wasn't gonna be 24 times u dumb fuckin ass!
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Okay so on the way to the beach we just detoured to see the dirt he works in and so he could introduce me to his friends- LMAO

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The real reason its gonna be a GOOD day!!

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On the way to the beach...

Its gonna be a good day! Y?? Cause after laying in the sun I'm going to the Casino!
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Awkward-country

Well, we really aren't speaking anymore and I'm just hoping time moves by fast. He's on his 3rd dump of the morning so the days starting out normal for us...

I really like childless. According to our last text last night (after I downed a 6pack of bud light limes)...we r dating??

Preachers lost his mind. After all his lies about how he was coming here, he even went so far to say he was actully here and then decided to fly back home! I busted him in that lie and now he's devastated again and thinks we shouldn't speak anymore. (That was his yesterday thoughts) . I wake up to a text with him saying "good morning". What a weirdo!
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Ready to come home!

I am so ready to come home. I'm trying to be nice and relax and not be so picky but he's so little, down-south talkin, ugly, teeth missing, and walking around belching. I'm pretending like I have heat exaustion from the trailor pool just so we don't have to go no where in public. I feel bad cause he keeps sayin "girl, now what's wrong with ya?"...and I can't even look at him and respond cause he only stands tall as my shoulders and he looks like a little roach. He eats like a run-away slave and he only owns 2 pair of boxers. Which by the way he hand washes each night and hangs out back of the trailor. Why me? That will teach me about blind dates!
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Look at this skinny country ass mutherfucker! Food hanging from his mouth, oh my God, help me!

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It was a wonderful day at the pool

With all the trailor neighbors. They all just stood and stared at me. We all never spoke but the fact they let me live spoke a lot. They left early to go iron their white sheets that they will be wearing tonight.
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Country's home

Well in walks country with pads instead of tampons (he's holding true to being ignorant), and he's dusty as hell from working all day. I sent him back to the wal-mart and he comes back even dustier and asks for a kiss! Lol! After I told him to get the fuck on somewhere , I noticed he was in the bathroom for about 20 minuted with no running water! I yelled "what the hell r u doing in there?" He responded "picking pimples".

I have to go take my own life now.
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The pool

I want to take a picture of these trailor park people but they keep staring at me! They probably have never seen a black person, at least not one that was alive and wasn't swinging from a rope!
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Its actually a community trailor park pool, not a pond!

country called! He just got off early so he's stopping by the walmart to get me some tampons then he will be home! Were going to the local olive garden tonight!
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When all else fails

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Coming up next....the pond! Stay tuned!

By the way...sdoggs said he's returning home Monday so we will be meeting up in the ATL!!
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My new home

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The kitchen, dining room, living room

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The white sandy beaches

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The huge bedroom!

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My divorce is in the paper today..

Someone cut it out for me please?
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I'm signing off can't take no more-

He's the size of my son! I'm going to wait for him to go to sleep and then I'm going out with the klu klux klan and help them take my own life-fuck!
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No fuccin way!

Dumb fuck head Country didn't know the time zone change and thought it was still 9pm when really its 10pm here so he is a damn hour away! I'm here at the airport on the floor charging my phone. I swear!

Anyone know if Sdoggs a winner tonight or not?
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Okay, landed, going pee then its time to meet Country for the first time!

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Wow!

Met a awesome lady named sarah, we sat next to a professional softball player, he bought us drinks the whole flight and we are going to his game tomorrow in tallahassee ! I didn't know men played softball! Wow!
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"Grey Goose Soda"

Whoo whoo!!! I'm not getting back on a small plane! I want a jet!
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Country

Okay found out y he wants to take cabs every where. He has no drivers license. Playa figured out where he wants to take me....IOWA! On his next business trip! Yeah right I'm nobodys concubine. Childless just let me talk to his dad on the phone, his dad sounds sexy! Drinks are going down good...Preacher SUPPOSEDLY is on his way to FL to stop by. The girl serving me here in Memphis has 3 gold teeth and her weave is crooked, I feel at home...love u guys! Next stop....Country's arms! Who by the way is home cleaning his ears, he got dust in them at work today. Poor baby! Hope Sdoggs does good tonight. If not he's meeting me at my 4 hour layover in Atlanta monday evening!
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Much better...liquor. Now Flight was wonderful!

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Had to get off the plane outside and walk over to the airport , what thehell? I need to take my own life

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Look how small this damn plane is!

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I'm alive!

Thanks for caring. Sat next to a lady who's husband mysteriously died in june. I have her last name and town she's from. I will keep u posted.
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This mess is for the host mom

" If I die tell sdoggs I wanted to do it doggystyle after all!"
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Taking off

In the littlest fuccin plane ever ! Its a delta connector! I'm scared! If I die , I love everyone, if I live, u guys are just okay!
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Preachers so full of shit!

He's trying to say he's going to hawaii and he's gonna "stop in" and see me in FL! Yeah right ass hole!
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Preacher

Oh shit! This is the message that the Preacher just sent me!!

"Call when u can? I may meet u in Florida? "

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Playas golfing today so we can't see each other before I leave ...I'm sad!

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As long as the baby doesn't move, who cares if there Are ants all over her!

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In a rush

I have a million things to do before my flight! As long as idont forget to nurse davin before I go it should be fine
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Airport

So I have 16 3oz. Bottles in a gallon freezer bag! Will I make it past airport security?? Wonder who I'd have to sleep with to make that happen?
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Dilema

Preachers great revelation is that he now wants me to come to see him for his birthday. Problem? that's the same weekend Childless is coming to town for the football game. I really like Childless, but I'm probably gonna marry Preacher.
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Playa

Our Midnight conversation: me and Playa:

Mz thang- So where is our first trip gonna be?

Playa: Our first trip.. Where do u wanna go?

Mz thang- And as far as our trip, do u want to stay in the states or like a cruise? That's what is left on my list. I've never been on a cruise.

Mz thang: Or we could go to Cancun? Somewhere hot and where we can stay in swim wear all day

Playa: Bad boy type huh...I'm sorry:( As far as "our" trip...hmmm it really wouldn't matter to me. I'm honestly not to keen about a cruise...I'd feel claustrophobic on that dang boat but I'm ALL with the swim wear "all-day";) I've been to Caribbean a number of times and its gorgeous!! We'd look good down there huh? B)

Playa: Where do u live! (If u don't mine me asking...if that was too personal forgive me)...

Mz thang: Yes...we would look good together. I live off of ****. So...where are we going then? I want a place to plan on...;;)

Mz thang: I can plan it all out and then we would have to coordinate schedules...

Playa: You home alone?

Mz thang: No , Y? Were u wanting to come tell me goodnight?

Playa: Omg!! *** u have no idea!!!

Mz thang: No idea? Tell me then

Playa: Lol!! :x

Mz thang: If I were alone u would really come over in the rain to say goodnight??

Playa: Were u wanting "me" 2 come tell u goodnight

Mz thang: maybe....

Playa: I know...I know...I am scared to call u:) I was nervous just talking to u when I saw you at your office:$ Alone "all" summer?? Omg!!

Mz thang: Y were u nervous, scared to call? That's so cute

Playa: Yep:$ goes back "years"....like I said u have no idea??:)

Mz thang: So have u thought of a place we can get away to?

Mz thang: And u keep saying "no idea"...what all does that involve?

Mz thang: Am I being too forward?

Playa: Lol!! I've got a few ideas:) By no idea I mean "A lot" in that it goes back years for me as it relates to you....crazy how all those memories/emotions can surface qyuickly....

Playa: Not at all...as long as we r both clear about confidentiality:) which I know we r:)

Mz thang: yes, I'm all about confidentiality! Well just let me know what u wanna do, when and where. ;) and yes, I don't "like" and tell. I will just have a crush on u from a distance-

Playa: ***....JKR (just keeping it real)...I've had a crush on you for 20 years!!! Dang we r getting up there!! Lol!! But I'm serious! Totally floored me to see you in the office when I did. I was so nervous my hands were shaking and my tongue felt like a fire hose I was so flustered!!:) I remember just watching you when we grew up and I don't even think you knew I existed which is only fair bc it wasn't like or like I'm much to look at. You on the other hand....exquisite, sharp, stunning!! Dang!!!

Mz thang: Oh my gosh that's so romantic!

Mz thang: And you are defintely something to look at...definitely! I never had any idea, didn't you date ***?

Mz thang: And I was a little nervous when you came in the office too

Mz thang: Well, like I said just let me know when we can get away

Playa: Lol!! Why thank you:$ Yes, I did date *** but it wasn't that long and I also wasn't blind either:) *** was/is a good woman. But you just had the "it" factor....hard to explain yet easily noticeable. Why were u nervous:p ?

Playa: How easy is it for you to get away?

Mz thang: how easy is it for u to buy the tickets? I just have to make sure I don't already have plans scheduled for that weekend.

Mz thang: And thanks for liking my "it" factor!

Mz thang: I was nervous because u GREW up and turned out quite well!

Playa: Why thank "You"!!! I'd be so nervous around you one-on-one!!!

Playa: You were nervous????:)

Mz thang: Yes I was nervous, I just thought to myself, "oh my gosh, he is so sexy". But I tried to keep my cool too.

Playa: I'm xcited now!!!

Mz thang: don't get too excited... Well does this mean I'm gonna see you soon? Preferably on a sandy white beach?

Playa: Yes...really!! I know I'm going 2 struggle 2 sleep tonight:$ u wanna c me? Maybe I'll stop by your office tomorrow? But I might snatch u up!! Lol!!

Playa: Omg!! The thoughts running thru my headX_X

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Oh shit I forgot to add my little Iraq friend Alex! He will have to be a guest star!

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Push, Push Push!

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The dr next door

They r expecting a baby! Shhhhh mums the word! I over heard it myself!
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A hour n my life....

While working-checked phone. Sdoggs wants to come by tonight. Playa wants to come tuck me in, and Preacher just got a revelation from God about our future. Meantime , Country said the septic tank is all ready for me when I land in Florida. And childless wants to know if I want to cuddle sometime!?! Christmas is doing good, his girlfriend works up the street from me so that's awkward. And subway thinks just cause he donated a 3footer to the church picnin we are destined!
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News Breaking!

Well, today I was talking to Childless and I found out why is he is childless. He's a fuccin 33 year old virgin!! What the hell?? I don't know whether to scream or take my own life!

There are a total of 7 men in this soap opera. Names will be privately disbursed.

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Okay..

Somehow I ended up in a dark place supposedly for a pedicure, smells like stale booty and the people are not blinking.
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Hold on folks here we go!

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